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Thinking Things

Sitting alone in the upper part of my double decked bed thinking or overthinking I don't know. My head's against the wall, light turned off and just the glow from my phone screen gives this lonely room alive with headphones stuck in my ears but listening to nothing and the creaking sound of the fan is all I can hear.

What am I really thinking?? I don't know anymore but you see it's all about my life. How messed up it is and what lies in the future, what I want to do..

unfulfilled dreams

I feel unloved by friends 

and random concocted stories..

They're racing against each other and it won't stop. My thoughts have never been empty and it's always been like this when I'm awake, I can only escape it when I'm sleeping.

Sleeping is my only medicine, to temporarily shut everything out for around 6 hours or less but sometimes it is too disrupted by things I don't know or I know. Things that I'm hoping will happen in reality, hallucinating that it happened but it didn't so I go back to sleep. If I'm lucky I can sleep again if not it takes minutes before I get to sleep again

Then I woke up, I'm thinking again…

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